Kids These Days
by ironlegion
Summary: Rocky has to deal with his wife and daughter engaging in an age old argument. Future fic.


Rocky Spokes mentally prepared himself. He knew that the moment the two of them were together in the car things would get rough. and sure enough, as soon as he and his wife picked up their daughter Lilith from school, he could feel the car fill up with a tense pressure.

As they drove home, the tension only seemed to thicken, so Rocky decided to try and cut it. He looked in the mirror up front at his daughter and gently asked. "So, Lilith, how was school?"

"It was fine father." Despite being only ten, his little girl spoke with the same bored monotone his wife did. She reached a hand up to smooth down the white hair dyed with black stripes obscuring her face before digging around in her backpack, withdrawing a book and disappearing behind it.

Rocky immediately noticed the picture on the cover of Lilith's book and he prayed as hard as he could that his wife wouldn't notice. But it was all for naught. Though Lucy still kept up having her face obscured by her hair, after years together, Rocky could practically feel Lucy's eyes on things and, unfortunately, right now they were set on the cover of their daughters book.

"Lilith." Lucy said, a hint of anger coloring her usual monotone. "What is _that_?"

Lilith looked up from her book. Much like her mother, while her expression was hidden by her hair, Rocky could sense the radiation of the glare aimed toward her mother.

"This happens to be the latest book in the Silver Fang series mother." Lilith said in annoyance.

Rocky noticed Lucy's fist clench.

"So, you're still reading that garbage?" Lucy asked with cool rage.

Rocky groaned internally. Not this again.

"Scoff, the Silver Fang series is not garbage." Lilith said with an unemotional growl.

Lucy turned around in her seat and pointed accusingly at the image of a shirtless werewolf holding a swooning girl.

"I'm sure they're perfectly fine, if you enjoy endorsing beastiality!" Lucy flatly screeched.

Lilith shoved her book into her bag and once again directed her glare intensely at her mother.

"Oh you're right, I should be like you and enjoy making out with young looking old men with pointy ears and teeth!" Lilith said, in the same low yelling voice her mother had.

Every week they had this argument. vampires against werewolves. They got into blankly toned shouting matches and he had to spend at least 10 minutes listening to them whisper-yell at each other.

"Gasp! Don't you dare compare my former beloved and his kind to those slobbering mutts you're obsessed with." Lucy said.

"Jayden is no mutt. His fur is clean and fluffy. At least unlike your vampires, he doesn't reek of blood and mothballs." Lillith argued.

"No, he reeks of wet fur and the water he drinks from the toilet!" Lucy stalely roared.

"Please tell me mother, what is it you find so hot about making out with a geriatric?"

"Well what exactly do you find so hot about making out with a _dog_?!"

"Do you know how embarrassing it is having all my friends knowing my mother has a fetish for extreme hickeys?!"

"Better than people knowing my daughter is a _furry_!"

Rocky tried to focus on the road in front of him but even though his wife and daughters voices weren't rising above their usual octaves, their pseudo screaming match was still extremely distracting.

"I'm sure you must find it so romantic to be with someone old enough to have known your great-great-grandfather!" Lilith said.

"Well at least I wouldn't have needed to take Edwin out for a walk so he wouldn't pee on the carpet!" Lucy countered.

"I think your just jealous. Your pale faced bloodsuckers aren't really in style anymore are they? Everyone knows werewolves are where the real darkness and gloom lye these days." Lilith said with a smirk.

"Pshaw, Vampires are always in style. Werewolves are nothing more than a passing fad for girls who are so desperate that their boyfriends groom themselves they don't mind if they do so with their own tongues!" Lucy shot back.

"That's a cat!"

"I don't see much difference. Either way you're still kissing an animal."

"At least Werewolves aren't wimps! You could take out a vampire just by buying them a pizza!"

"But a vampire wouldn't get distracted by throwing a ball!

"WELL AT LEAST WEREWOLVES DON'T SPARKLE!"

Lucy gasped. And not she didn't just say the word gasp, she legitimately let out a long low ghost like gasp.

"How dare you-?!"

Rocky had had enough. He brought the car to a screeching halt and slammed his fists on the steering wheel.

"WILL YOU TWO PLEASE JUST STOP?!"

Both his wife and daughter were shocked at Rocky's sudden outburst.

"You two do this all the time! I can't take it anymore! Can't you two stop fighting and just accept that you both like different kinds of monsters?"

Both Lucy and Lilith looked at each other. Rocky could feel that they were now putting off the same emotion: shame.

"I'm sorry my love." Lucy said, pressing a comforting kiss to his cheek.

"I'm sorry too father. I suppose your right. We shouldn't fight over which is better. I suppose that Vampires do have a kind of mature allure to them." Lilith said.

""And I can see how the raw wild ruggedness of the werewolf could be appealing." Lucy admitted.

"Perhaps there's room in the inky blackness of night for two creatures."

"Agreed." Lucy said. Then she snorted. "Besides, at least they're still both better then zombies."

"Ugh, I know right? Who in their right mind would find it enjoyable to kiss a decomposing corps?"

"Don't ask me. I enjoy a good funeral but necrophilia is pushing it too far."

"And they can't even talk. Who would want a boyfriend who can only stumble around moaning "brains"?"

"Someone who never shuts up?"

Lucy and Lilith shared a monotone chuckle.

"Oh, and imagine this..."

Happy that hi wife and daughter were now united in their enjoyment of hating another monster, Rocky got a small smile and resumed driving his family home.


End file.
